Wood Torched By Diablos

A blistering inferno of hellish carnage set against the backdrop of a young boy’s quest to relinquish his fish taco

Diablos 12, Wood 1

May 1st, 2011

San Leandro, Ca – In the most anticipated game of the young campaign Wood suffered their toughest defeat at the hands of the Diablos, who set Wood ablaze under blue skies at Stenzel Field Sunday afternoon.

Neither Bear Grylls, Smokey the Bear, nor former fire douser merit badge holder, David “Stanky Leg” Aubuchon (pictured with his former scout master) could stop the diabolic firestorm.

Things got off to an auspicious start for Wood, as starting pitcher Steve McDevitt blanked Diablo hitters through his first three innings of work, and after Patrick Whelly singled in the first run of the game in the bottom half of the inning, things appeared to be on the right track .

Does anyone want my fish taco?

The fourth inning would not yield such favorable results,as the Diablos scorched the righty for four runs after a lead-off walk and hit opened hell’s kitchen door for a colossal inning. Once that happened Wood players and fans appeared to get the feeling that something was not right, eerily similar to the feeling one gets when a Doctor inserts his fingers into your rear at the same time you come to the realization you took a right into the Proctology department, instead of a left into the Podiatry department as originally planned.

Ely Alexander relieved McDevitt in the fifth, but the hit parade was just getting started for the devil bats. They’d strike for eight more runs before the day was over. McDevitt was pegged with the loss allowing four runs over four innings, however it seemed pretty clear from the start of the day what was to ensue, when the number 7 hitter for the Diablos walked in on him doing his business in the door-less bathroom stall, and then later smacked an rbi single to add insult to injury.

Seriously who wants my fish taco? It is still good, just try a bite

Brandon “Cook for two minutes, or until golden brown on both” Sides closed out the game in B-Side fashion; full dominatrix. I mean domination.

Wood managed only two hits in the contest, but did manage to kill several gnats while up at the plate. A few misplays in the field, along with forty-two hits off Diablo bats seemed to make the difference in the game. The game was

called before the start of the eighth inning because of the lack of awesomeness Wood had shown for the previous seven innings.

Surely someone wants my fish taco

MVP: Wood fan Colby Tong

Colby’s undying love for the team stayed strong despite the 12-1 thumping. He cheered feverishly, even in the later innings, when all hope had been lost. Hands down best Wood fan of all time, but we can all be thankful he is still a couple years away from reading a scoreboard, otherwise he would’ve been just as disgusted as the other fans. (Ok, so Will's spectacular play in the field warrants the MVP here, but after that loss, it seems only fitting a die hard fan wins the award)

LVP: Jevon”Before coming in the house, wipe your feet on the ‘Welcome’ " Mattiassi

His hat trick at the plate was the first for Wood since Rumpelstiltskin did the same back in 1341.

Wood rematches the devil wrath of The Diablos next week at Moscone Park in San Francisco. Great seats are still available.

Got Wood?

Wood 3b John Lanahan fielding a grounder in the 2nd inning

Wood players arguing after the game