Mad Dogs Do Bite

The only dog on the field that wasn't mad looks on

Classic Tale of Man Bites Dog; dog drills Moyer in the tricep 
Wood lets the dog out in winning fashion


May 5th, 2013

WOOD 13
Mad Dogs 5

"It's hard to swing with this boner..."
-Matt Moyer trying to bat with Rick's chest hair exposed leading off second base

"Ah, yes sir, I will file this away. I'll also have a fresh pair baseball slacks like you requested sir, shall we say by start of 5th inning?"
-Steve McDevitt after being handed Jevon's dip to put away for him

"It's hard to watch with this boner..."
-Strange Kook sticking his genitalia through the fence wire

Albany, Ca - Throughout the history of time, every man young or old, dapper or ugly, straight or gay,  gentleman or asshole has had a wing man. First there was Jesus with Peter. Sherlock had Holmes, Batman had Robin. and George Michael had his glory hole. Last Sunday when Mad Dog reliever Paulie Pussynickle unleashed the fury of a 90mph fastball (his fastest pitch of the game by about 30mph) into the sinewy muscle fibers of Matt Moyer's tricep a new tandem was formed. Michael Jordan had Pippen, Magic had Kareem, and on this day Mandelblatt had Moyer.

Finally Zach found the wingman he'd always dreamed of
Zach took this picture of Matt during this week's trip to Monterey
in between picking up chicks at the acquarium together

Pussynickle just before his
"Dick of the Year" award was announced

With Wood up by 8runs in the 8th inning, Mandelblatt bolted for second stealing the bag easily. Pussynickle didn't take kindly to the flippant gesture and proceeded to drill Moyer in the arm on the next pitch, instantly etching in history the wingmanship between the two Wood.

"I knew that was coming, I should've bobbed instead of weaved up there," Moyer commented post-game, as his ulna was protruding from his spleen.

Coincidentally, being that it was Cinco de Mayo, Wood's lone Latin member not only managed the team, but also started on the mound. He also batted in all nine slots in the starting lineup. How do you like like Treaty of Guadalupe Hiladalgo?

Who's up now? Wait, Chente again? Seriously?  

Lucky for Wood, their token Latin player also happens to be one helluva pitcher and he cruised through the first four innings of work unscathed, locked in a pitchers duel.

The first four innings came and went faster than Jevon at a seventies porno themed wank booth, before Wood finally got on the board in the fourth. The big hit however came off the bat of Pat Whelly who drove in three with his smash in the 5th inning.

Jev you still owe me the full $100

This glove's got to be at least 2
times this big

The Mad Dogs battled back however, and after the excitement of Whelly's big hit died down, Wood looked up to find themselves in a dogfight (see what I just did there?) with the score tied after five. Luckily that tie lasted only momentarily as Wood battled back for four more runs in the top half of the next inning. Matt Moyer and Grant Bledsoe led off the inning with free passes (not the ones that involve glow sticks and club rubber), Jevon Mattiassi reached on an error and that opened up the door for Kevin "youngdirtysluts.com is my home" Page who laced a single to get the RBI-party started. Alex Weber-Shapiro and Will Tong also had RBI hits in the inning. From there the hits kept coming with another four in the 7th and another in the 8th.

Steve McDevitt took the torch from Lopez and pitched the 7th and the 8th. He allowed one run but with the "Kids Who Can't Dive Good," defense behind him, it was a miracle he didn't give up more than two triples in an inning.

Mandelblatt shut the door in the ninth to collect another save thingy or whatever they call it when you're up by 8.

I dare you to pick me off Pussynickle

The most sensual point in the game was in the 8th when Rick "How you doing, I'm the Hoff" Roitinger led off of second base full chest exposed. Sixteen GILFS in the stands went beserk and beiseiged the infield just for a chance to touch the sultry beast. Unfortunately he was picked off before they could reach the basepaths. (Ok so he wasn't but the story is more believable if I add this)


Player of the game: Matt Moyer for his excellent wingmanship, and ability to hit with a boner.

It should also be noted that Weber-Shapiro made another spectacular grab in the outfield. The only reason it is this far down in the blog is because he does it ever week.

Wood squares off against the Topes next Saturday. Great seats are still available.

Game Stats - 5/5/13 WOOD atMad Dogs

Box Score

---

WOOD (13) AT MAD DOGS (4)

WOOD                 AB  R  H BI  MAD DOGS             AB  R  H BI

Alex Weber-Shapiro    5  1  2  1  Jared Van Der Beek    3  1  1  0  

Adam Fong             2  1  0  0  Nick Saraceni         4  1  1  3  

 Will Tong            2  0  1  1  Jason Moore           4  0  1  1  

Pat Whelly            4  2  2  2  Omar Ramos            4  0  0  0  

Zach Mandelblatt      5  0  1  1  Jimmy Bennet          4  0  1  0  

Matt Moyer            2  1  1  1  Mike Deeble           3  0  0  0  

Grant Bledsoe         4  2  1  0  Jeremy Lebeau         1  0  0  0  

Jevon Matiassi        5  2  0  1   Ross Pomerantz       2  1  0  0  

Kevin Page            5  3  2  2  Zachary Braband       4  0  1  0  

Ryan Tovani           5  1  2  2  Jeff Pollock          4  1  1  0  

Rick Roitinger        2  0  2  1                                    

Frank Bauch           2  0  0  0                                    

TOTALS               43 13 14 12  TOTALS               33  4  6  4

WOOD                          000 134 410 -- 13 

MAD DOGS                      000 040 000 -- 4  

LOB--WOOD 9, MAD DOGS 5. ERR--Grant Bledsoe. 2B--Ryan

Tovani, Rick Roitinger, Nick Saraceni, Jason Moore. 3B--Ryan

Tovani. HBP--Matt Moyer, Jared Van Der Beek. SB--Pat Whelly,

Kevin Page, Grant Bledsoe, Zach Mandelblatt, Jared Van Der

Beek.

 WOOD                            IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR

Chente Lopez (W)               6.00    4    4    4    2    1    0

Steve McDevitt                 2.00    2    0    0    0    5    0

Zach Mandelblatt               1.00    0    0    0    0    0    0

 MAD DOGS                   

Ross Pomerantz                 6.00    6    8    4    4    5    0

Ben Graber                     3.00    8    5    5    1    1    0

WP--Ross Pomerantz (3). SO--Frank Bauch, Kevin Page, Grant

Bledsoe, Jevon Matiassi, Zach Mandelblatt, Adam Fong, Jeremy

Lebeau, Omar Ramos, Jimmy Bennet, Nick Saraceni, Mike

Deeble, Jason Moore. BB--Pat Whelly, Grant Bledsoe, Matt

Moyer (2), Adam Fong, Mike Deeble, Ross Pomerantz.

LOCATION: Albany

WEATHER: Foggy

How do you like that Rocky?