Wood Goes Cock Grabbing

Frost (above) turned out to be Cameron the whole time. 

Wood takes two from division foe as Frost reveals his identity

May 19th, 2013

Game 1: Wood 3 Gamecocks 2 (11 innings)
Game 2: Wood 8 Gamecocks 2

"Kevin can smell Jevon's pheromones from first to know when to steal..."
-Some kook wearing Kevin's jock strap over his head

"You can't have dogs here," Saul Milkypants informs Jevon pre-game
"Oh, ok I'll just tie him up there 7 feet away," Jevon responds.
"Well I uh- that doesn't really do it there bub," Milkypants responds visibly irritated

Game One

Millbrae, Ca - It wasn't enough for Frost that he sucker-punched Wood's power-hitting outfielder Zach Mandelblatt. Frost wanted more and Sunday's double-header against the rival Gamecocks was just the stage he needed. After missing the first seven games because he was "working" Cameron, I mean Frost showed up for pre-game warm ups donning his typical smile and wooden pipe as if nothing was wrong. Of course Cam deflected all questions surrounding the whereabouts of "Frost," but if the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew were on the case, they'd solve the case before lunch and have plenty of time to make some bad decisions together...

What's that? Yes its called Eiffel tower.
Never heard of it? Here let me show
 you Nancy

It seemed awfully convenient that Cam showed up for his first game to reclaim his spot in the outfield the very same week Mandelblatt was last seen face down on the basketball court with the wretched rap lyrics emanating around him. Coincidence? Not quite. Frost and Cam have never been seen in the same place at the same time. It's simple.

Frost is Cam, Cam is Frost! Finkle is Einhorn!

Since it was a long day and the blogger is clearly way behind in updates this week, we'll sum it up for you. Wood kicks ass and the other guys don't.





Game one went something like this: Chente Lopez delivers the 44th pitch...

Not the guy who asked Rocky to hit the bricks

And Chente delivers the 82nd pitch...And Chente delivers the 113th pitch...And Chente delivers the 712th pitch... and Wood wins. A brillant, brillant pitching performance and some timely offense led to a much needed Wood victory.

MVP of game 1: Chente Lopez who pitched his ass off and the guy who banned Rocky from the stadium prior to start of game one.

LVP of game 2: Cameron "Frost" Weisenesee who like his foe on the basketball court injured his back and shoulder doing warm-ups

Pat Whelly also tore up the base paths collecting three hits in the game. Will Tong also had two hits, one of which came after an 11-pitch at-bat.

Rocky posing for his best-selling book "Where's Rocky" hitting shelves in the states everywhere this fall. The book previously released in Slovakia, eclipsed its predecessor, "Where's Waldo" by 4 million copies. 

This guy does not care for the new "Where's Rocky" books, but does own the most editions of
"where's vagina" released by Lesbian Weekly.com.

Oh yeah. Wood won the game 3-2 in 11 innings! Chente Lopez is still pitching nine days later otherwise he would've received the win in the game. 

Still can't see him? Another million copies were just sold in the time you tried to look for him

Game Stats - 5/19/13 WOOD at Gamecocks

Box Score

---

WOOD (3) AT GAMECOCKS (2)

WOOD                 AB  R  H BI  GAMECOCKS            AB  R  H BI

Pat Whelly            5  2  3  1  Chris Ralston         4  1  3  0  

Will Tong             4  0  2  0  Kevin Boucher         5  0  2  0  

Alex Weber-Shapiro    5  0  1  0  James Boucher         5  0  1  0  

Ryan Tovani           3  0  0  0  Mike Reisfelt         4  0  1  1  

 Cam Weisensee        2  0  0  1  Greg Crimele          4  0  0  0  

Grant Bledsoe         5  0  0  0  Pete Watts            5  0  1  0  

David Aubuchon        4  0  1  0  Patrick Cunningham    5  0  1  0  

Kevin Page            4  0  2  0  Ryan Oliver           4  0  2  0  

Jevon Matiassi        2  0  1  0  Scott Martin          4  0  0  0  

 Rick Roitinger       2  0  1  0  Gabe Candelria        3  1  0  0  

Adam Fong             4  1  1  0                                    

Frank Bauch           2  0  0  0                                    

TOTALS               42  3 12  2  TOTALS               43  2 11  1

WOOD                          000 000 020 01 -- 3  

GAMECOCKS                     001 010 000 00 -- 2  

LOB--WOOD 7, GAMECOCKS 12. ERR--James Boucher. 2B--Adam

Fong, Pete Watts, Ryan Oliver. HBP--Will Tong. SB--Pat

Whelly (4), Kevin Page.

 WOOD                            IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR

Chente Lopez                  11.00   11    2    1    4    8    0

 GAMECOCKS                  

Kevin Boucher                 11.00   12    3    3    0    5    0

PB--Jevon Matiassi. SO--Frank Bauch, Cam Weisensee, Alex

Weber-Shapiro, Ryan Tovani (2), Pete Watts, Scott Martin,

Kevin Boucher, Patrick Cunningham (2), Mike Reisfelt, Gabe

Candelria (2). BB--Greg Crimele, Chris Ralston, Mike

Reisfelt, Gabe Candelria.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The fans were out in full force for
game two. Newly engaged Anna Lee
led the charge

Game Two

"Oh Mr. McDevitt, I thought you were starting today..."
"I did..."
"Oh."
-Janitor cleaning the dugout with two outs in the first inning

"There's a fine line between gay chicken and a hand job... say uncle... say uncle!"
-Ryan and Jevon playing a game of gay chicken in the dugout

And Chente delivers the 231st pitch...

How do you mix up fisting and indian burns? Darn
you Dancing with Penises how would you like an indian
burn in the rectum? You wouldn't now would you? 

Game two started with Steve McDevitt on the mound and ended shortly after he accidentally gave himself and indian burn while actually trying to fist himself. Luckily Kevin "I have a special" Pager code for when Frost calls relieved the brittle veteran and pitched six dazzling innings as Wood cruised to victory in the nightcap.

Wood cruised to the easy 8-2 victory riding on the strong pitching by Page and the bats of Alex Weber-Shapiro, Rick Roitinger, Steve McDevitt and Ryan Tovani all of who had multiple hits in the game.

Shortly after the game Roitinger was picked up by SF
zoo officials and return to his natural habitant in
the primate exhibit

MVP of the game goes to Rick Roitinger who erected probably what saved nine Wood players from heat storke.

Wood squares off versus the Bay Sox next week at San Leandro. Great seats are still available.

Game Stats - 5/19/13 Gamecocks at WOOD

Box Score

---

GAMECOCKS (2) AT WOOD (8)

GAMECOCKS            AB  R  H BI  WOOD                 AB  R  H BI

Chris Ralston         2  0  0  0  Pat Whelly            4  1  1  1  

Kevin Boucher         4  1  2  0  Will Tong             4  1  0  0  

James Boucher         4  0  0  0  Alex Weber-Shapiro    4  2  3  1  

Mike Reisfelt         3  1  3  0  Ryan Tovani           3  2  2  1  

Greg Crimele          4  0  0  1  Kevin Page            3  0  0  0  

Pete Watts            2  0  1  0   David Aubuchon       0  0  0  0  

Ryan Oliver           3  0  0  0  Jevon Matiassi        2  0  0  0  

Mike Vance            4  0  0  0   Grant Bledsoe        1  0  0  0  

Ben Amudson           3  0  0  0  Frank Bauch           3  1  0  0  

Scott Martin          3  0  0  0  Steve McDevitt        3  1  2  2  

Jeremiah Fielder      2  0  0  0  Rick Roitinger        4  0  2  2  

                                  Chente Lopez          2  0  0  0  

TOTALS               34  2  6  1  TOTALS               33  8 10  7

GAMECOCKS                     000 000 002 -- 2  

WOOD                          204 000 20x -- 8  

LOB--GAMECOCKS 11, WOOD 8. ERR--Pat Whelly, Alex

Weber-Shapiro, Rick Roitinger. 2B--Pat Whelly, Rick

Roitinger. HBP--Ryan Oliver, Will Tong. SB--James Boucher,

Alex Weber-Shapiro, Ryan Tovani.

 GAMECOCKS                       IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR

Scott Martin                   8.00   10    8    7    6    3    0

 WOOD                       

Steve McDevitt                 2.00    3    0    0    1    1    0

Kevin Page                     6.00    1    0    0    4    7    0

Grant Bledsoe                  1.00    2    2    1    0    1    0

SO--Greg Crimele, Scott Martin (2), Ryan Oliver, Mike Vance

(3), Ben Amudson, Jeremiah Fielder, Frank Bauch (2), Grant

Bledsoe. BB--Pete Watts (2), Chris Ralston (2), Mike

Reisfelt, Pat Whelly, Frank Bauch, David Aubuchon, Steve

McDevitt, Jevon Matiassi, Ryan Tovani.