The Great White Tope

First he won't wear the nipple clamps and now a
7-3 drubbing from the Topes? I'm taking my cans
and looking for a real man.

Isotopes Take Another Game from Wood, Jevon's Girlfriend Departs in Disgust

May 11th, 2013

ISOTOPES 7
Wood 3

"Good lord, this thing looks like a toasted marshmallow..." 
-Jevon Mattiassi the morning after having sex with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's sister

"Jevon you no have time to bone no more."
-Jevon's girlfriend the can lady

"That Weber-Shapiro is one fine piece of a, if you know what I mean...I love watching him make diving catches..."
-Every female in San Francisco county

San Francisco, Ca - Every great leader throughout history, whether it was Roman Marcus Auerlius fighting in the north, General Patton fighting the Germans, or Lance Bass leading his group in a  groovy acapella tune, always had a pre-battle drink to get the endorphins revved.

In today's sporting world it's not a whole lot different. Most great athletes choose something hydrating; whatever will help them on the field or court. Gatorade is a good one. Water. Perhaps even a pre-game Pepsi to get some caffeine pumping through their veins would do the trick.

I am Marcus Aurilieas commander of the northern
legion - oh wait a second, i almost forgot. Commodus, pass
me that quart of Lucerne milk over there real quick

Milk was a bad choice

For Wood standout Matt Moyer the concept is the same, but the execution is clearly way off and on May 11th, we witnessed our first athlete consuming copious amounts of dairy pre-first pitch.

Unlike Moyer's tender battle with his milk bottle, the play on the field was a fierce strategic militant effort on both sides. Kevin "When i was little I used to wear makeup and compete in beauty" Pageants took the hill and was nothing short of brilliant. He mowed through Tope hitters like former basketball star Jason Williams at a chauffeur convention. He held the revered Topes scoreless through three innings which had previously only been done by Nolan Ryan, Cy Young and Jack Kevorkian. 

Wood's offense was overall slow to the show but struck first in the top of the first inning when Zach Mandelblatt singled in Matt Moyer, but that would be all the offense until the 5th inning when Wood would tack on one more run.

The 5th inning wasn't as kind to Wood as the Topes chalked up three runs to take a 4-1 lead and never looked back. Steve McDevitt and Zach Mandelblatt closed out the game on the mound for Wood, but the lead ultimately was insurmountable and the Topes took home the victory. 

His old scoutmaster had given Weber-Shapiro that bat

The most devastating part of the game came in the 4th inning when Wood went through $300 bats, one of which included Weber-Shapiro's infamous toasted marshmallow bat.

At the plate Mandelblatt, and Weber-Shapiro each had multi-hit games and Pat Whelly, and Matt Moyer also added hits, but after the 4th spot in the lineup offense was pretty much nil. 

This small town in Portugal was elated to see Weber-Shapiro
enter the city limits and catch the fly ball

Player of the game award goes to Weber-Shapiro who had to run halfway around the world to catch a blast off the bat of the Topes cleanup hitter.

Wood squares off against division leader Gamecocks this Sunday for a double-header. Great seats are still available. 

Game Stats - 4/7/13 WOOD at Isotopes

Box Score

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WOOD (3) AT ISOTOPES (7)

WOOD                 AB  R  H BI  ISOTOPES             AB  R  H BI

Pat Whelly            5  0  1  0  Christopher Viegas    4  1  0  0  

Matt Moyer            5  1  1  1  Brandon Barron        3  1  0  0  

Alex Weber-Shapiro    5  1  2  0  Sean Scott            4  1  2  2  

Zach Mandelblatt      4  0  2  2  Daniel Rogers         4  0  0  1  

Will Tong             4  0  0  0  Alexander Robins      3  1  2  1  

Grant Bledsoe         4  0  0  0  Leo Ortiz             4  1  2  0  

Ryan Tovani           3  0  0  0  Brian Brooks          3  1  0  0  

Jevon Matiassi        4  0  0  0  Jackson Tavo Hall     4  0  2  3  

Frank Bauch           2  0  0  0  Edgar Murillo         3  1  0  0  

 Kevin Page           0  1  0  0                                    

TOTALS               36  3  6  3  TOTALS               32  7  8  7

WOOD                          100 001 100 -- 3  

ISOTOPES                      000 130 03x -- 7  

LOB--WOOD 9, ISOTOPES 5. 2B--Alex Weber-Shapiro, Jackson

Tavo Hall. HBP--Edgar Murillo. SB--Zach Mandelblatt, Sean

Scott, Alexander Robins.

 WOOD                            IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR

Kevin Page                     5.00    5    4    4    2    6    0

Steve McDevitt                 2.00    0    0    0    0    2    0

Zach Mandelblatt               1.00    3    3    3    1    1    0

 ISOTOPES                   

PB--Jevon Matiassi. SO--Frank Bauch, Alex Weber-Shapiro,

Grant Bledsoe (2), Jevon Matiassi (2), Will Tong (2), Ryan

Tovani (2), Daniel Rogers, Sean Scott, Brian Brooks,

Christopher Viegas (3), Brandon Barron (2), Jackson Tavo

Hall. BB--Kevin Page (2), Ryan Tovani, Brian Brooks,

Alexander Robins, Brandon Barron.