Wood Diffuses Red Giants

Wood sweeps double header as Fuhrer returns 

Roitinger's latest victim, "yep he's circumcised,"
a satisfied Roitinger  announced after leaving
Leopold's dorm room that fall morning

April 27th, 2013

Game 1
Wood 20
Red Giants 0 (5 innings)

Game 2 
Wood 9
Red Giants 2

Rick: "Zach, you're uncircumcised right?"
Zach: "I uh-wha?"
Rick: "I'll find out"

Game One
San Mateo, Ca - According to 17 expert scientists polled, or Wikipedia, one of the two, Red giants are stars that have exhausted the supply of hydrogen in their cores.  They have radii tens to hundreds of times larger than that of the sun. However, their outer envelope is lower in temperature, giving them a reddish-orange hue. On this day, there were no stars or reddish hues, however there was a hungover Zach Mandelblatt. His hue resembled that of the resulting offspring if Casper the Ghost and a pantomime were to reproduce.


So... you want to get out of here or something? You had me at boo.

Below is a sequence of Mandelblatt's previous evening:

Mandelblatt enjoying  a couple of cold ones
at Friday happy hour

Mandelblatt does
an innocuous cannonball

Well now, this just went from 0to60

Scratch that - 0to100

Not Mandelblatt, not sure how this got in here

Now the night's getting started

Mandelblatt doing his best glow stick/pantomime trick
(Apparently this is all the rage with kids these days)

Mandelblatt - 4am Club Rubber bathroom

Mandelblatt (center) huddled in a warm clothing in
75 degree heat next day

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Your change up is great, you got me on it"
-Matt Moyer attempting to compliment opposing pitcher

"I don't have a change up"
-pissed off opposing pitcher

And now to the game.

Alright Lewis, once we discover that last plot of land,
say lets call it Oregon, we'll head back to the homeland.
Hopefully it will be the 3rd inning by then

Kevin "Dude you should check out my Facebook" Page took the mound in the first game and tossed five shut-out innings in the win. The biggest perk for Page was the ability to get some much needed errands done in between innings. Sure, Page is an expert when it comes to time management with laundry, renewing his license at the DMV, and picking up dry cleaning, but as Jevon says, "Let's be honest here for a second..." Lewis and Clark could've trail-blazed the entire United States and returned home in between innings.

Wood put up three runs in the first, seven in the second, and another five in third and fourth innings. When the smoke settled and the Fuhrer, Brandon "My favorite geometry shape is a hexagon because it has six" Sides was able to digest the carnage the score was 20-0.

Sides wasted no time implementing his rule back into the fray once Wood was up.

"Alright guys, no more running, we're up 19-0," Sides made everyone aware.

And the next pitch... Mattiassi steals second.

"Ok, no more running, now," Sides reiterates.

And... Moyer steals home, 20-0.

"Ok, how about now..." a dejected Sides mutters.

"Who missed the extra point?"
-Some dick Wood player

Highlights of game one included multi-hit games from Will Tong, Grant Bledsoe, Jevon Mattiassi, and Matt Moyer, a 3-run bomb off the bat of Mandelblatt which dented a 500 year-old tree, and a new hypothesis that Moyer and belts just aren't working out.

"It's not you it's me," Moyer whispered to his wicker belt.

Once Moyer was seen here at the local mall everyone concluded that
the missing belt wasn't Moyer's problem, it was Moyer himself who clearly
is still figuring out this whole keep the pants up thing

Bonehead of the week award goes to Frank Bauch for "jinxing" Kevin Page's no-hitter in inning #2.

Additional highlights for those stat geeks out there:
Mattiassi, Whelly, Weber-Shapiro and Moyer all touched home 3 times
Mandelblatt had 4 RBI's
Grant Bledsoe had 2 runs, 2 hits, and 2 RBI's, and 2 reach arounds
Page struck out 4 and allowed just 1 hit in getting the win.
The Red Giants had 16 at-bats. Total.

"Are those soccer babes still out?"
-Rick Roitinger observing the Hillsdale Middle school soccer tryouts, while also registering himself on MegansLaw.com

Dave:"Hey  Pat do you think Kevin will throw a no-hitter?"
Kevin: "Uh guys I'm right here - I can hear you"

Game Stats - 4/27/13 Red Giants at WOOD

Box Score

---

WOOD (20) AT RED GIANTS (0)

WOOD                 AB  R  H BI  RED GIANTS           AB  R  H BI

Pat Whelly            2  3  1  1  Brendan Chan          1  0  0  0  

 Frank Bauch          2  0  0  0  Joseph Magdelano      1  0  0  0  

Matt Moyer            5  3  2  1  Chris Powell          2  0  0  0  

Alex Weber-Shapiro    3  3  1  1  Matt Palley           2  0  0  0  

Zach Mandelblatt      2  2  1  4  Ben Ferreira          2  0  1  0  

 Rick Roitinger       1  1  0  0  Casey Riegler         1  0  0  0  

Ryan Tovani           2  2  0  2  Corey Chidester       2  0  0  0  

Jevon Matiassi        3  3  2  2  Ceelo White           2  0  0  0  

Grant Bledsoe         3  2  2  2  JR Munini             1  0  0  0  

David Aubuchon        3  0  0  2  Adair Chaballa        1  0  0  0  

Will Tong             3  1  2  3  Bill Ferreira         1  0  0  0  

Steve McDevitt        1  0  0  1                                    

Brandon Sides         2  0  0  0                                    

TOTALS               32 20 11 19  TOTALS               16  0  1  0

WOOD                          375 500 -- 20 

RED GIANTS                    000 00x -- 0  

LOB--WOOD 9, RED GIANTS 4. ERR--Matt Moyer, Matt Palley, JR

Munini, Joseph Magdelano, Chris Powell, Casey Riegler.

2B--Pat Whelly. HR--Zach Mandelblatt. HBP--Steve McDevitt.

SB--Pat Whelly, Jevon Matiassi, Matt Moyer, Zach

Mandelblatt, Will Tong.

 WOOD                            IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR

Kevin Page                     5.00    1    0    0    3    4    0

 RED GIANTS                 

Joseph Magdelano               2.00    7   10    7    3    2    1

Casey Riegler                  3.00    4   10    2    8    2    0

WP--Casey Riegler (3). SO--David Aubuchon, Brandon Sides

(2), Ryan Tovani, JR Munini, Bill Ferreira, Chris Powell,

Ceelo White. BB--Pat Whelly, Alex Weber-Shapiro (2), David

Aubuchon, Grant Bledsoe, Steve McDevitt, Jevon Matiassi,

Will Tong, Ryan Tovani (2), Rick Roitinger, Joseph

Magdelano, Brendan Chan, Casey Riegler.

---

Game Two
Game two started just as every game should've the past seven seasons; with Sides singing some of his favorite showtunes, and Wood in a positive mood after the morning's shellacking.

Sides lets it all out in game two

Steve McDevitt took the mound in the nightcap and went 6 innings, giving up one run, striking out 10 and walking nil, but we can't give him too much credit; had a one-legged donkey fresh out of Tijuana took the mound he would've also managed a great stat line, but mostly because of the similarity in penis size 1 Despite the offensive explosion in game one, Wood bats still struck for two in the first, one in the fourth and three in the 6th allowing McDevitt to depart with a 6-1 lead. He handed things off to Sides who pitched two stellar innings in relief.

1 - "Your son has a huge penis" Jevon Mattiassi to Steve's Dad, July 2011

Sides awaits for Tovani to escort him back to his bench spot after setting down the Red Giants in the 8th

"I can play short"
-Kevin Page prior to making a plethora of errors at shortstop

Chente Lopez came in fresh from a two hour drive to mop up the 9th.

The offense in game two was a well-balanced attack, but one thing that didn't contribute to the onslaught was Dave Aubuchon's "soft line drive" (as scored in iScore) off the fence in left field. Bledsoe, Moyer, McDevitt, Whelly, Weber-Shapiro, Page, Roitinger, Mattiassi, and Aubuchon all had hits in the win.

Tovani doing his little shimee, makes the Wood women go crazy

Wood will take their next quest to Albany High to take on the Mad Dogs Sunday. Great seats are still available.

Game Stats - 4/27/13 WOOD at Red Giants

Box Score

---

RED GIANTS (2) AT WOOD (9)

RED GIANTS           AB  R  H BI  WOOD                 AB  R  H BI

Brendan Chan          4  0  0  0  Matt Moyer            1  1  1  0  

Joseph Magdelano      4  0  0  0   Will Tong            1  0  1  0  

Chris Powell          4  1  3  0   Steve McDevitt       1  1  1  1  

Matt Palley           3  0  0  0  Pat Whelly            4  0  1  1  

 Geary Earnest        1  0  0  0  Alex Weber-Shapiro    4  1  1  0  

JR Munini             3  0  1  0  Zach Mandelblatt      2  0  0  0  

Corey Chidester       3  0  2  1  Ryan Tovani           3  0  0  1  

Duane Harris          3  1  1  0  Kevin Page            4  1  1  0  

Adair Chaballa        2  0  1  1  Frank Bauch           3  1  0  0  

 Ben Ferreira         0  0  0  0  Rick Roitinger        2  0  1  1  

Ryan Aguilar          3  0  0  0   David Aubuchon       2  2  2  1  

Chris McGuirk         3  0  0  0  Jevon Matiassi        3  1  1  1  

Casey Riegler         3  0  0  0  Grant Bledsoe         3  0  1  0  

                                   Chente Lopez         0  1  0  0  

                                  Brandon Sides         1  0  0  0  

TOTALS               36  2  8  2  TOTALS               34  9 11  6

RED GIANTS                    000 010 100 -- 2  

WOOD                          200 103 03x -- 9  

LOB--RED GIANTS 8, WOOD 11. ERR--Ben Ferreira, Alex

Weber-Shapiro, Kevin Page, Will Tong, Ryan Tovani. 2B--Kevin

Page, David Aubuchon, Grant Bledsoe, Jevon Matiassi, Rick

Roitinger. 3B--Will Tong. SB--Ben Ferreira, Chris Powell,

Alex Weber-Shapiro, Jevon Matiassi (2), Matt Moyer, Zach

Mandelblatt (2), Will Tong, Ryan Tovani.

 RED GIANTS                      IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR

Ryan Aguilar                   0.33    0    0    0    0    0    0

Ben Ferreira                   4.00    8    6    3    4    1    0

 WOOD                       

Steve McDevitt                 6.00    5    1    1    0   10    0

Brandon Sides                  2.00    2    1    0    1    2    0

Chente Lopez                   1.00    1    0    0    0    1    0

PB--Ryan Tovani. WP--Ben Ferreira. SO--Matt Palley, Duane

Harris, Chris McGuirk (2), Ryan Aguilar (3), JR Munini,

Joseph Magdelano, Brendan Chan, Chris Powell, Casey Riegler,

Corey Chidester, Frank Bauch, Zach Mandelblatt. BB--Ben

Ferreira, Pat Whelly, Frank Bauch, Alex Weber-Shapiro, Jevon

Matiassi, Zach Mandelblatt (2), Will Tong (2), Chente Lopez,

Ryan Tovani.