Balboa Park: San Franciso, Ca - Opening day brings hope for a new season, a chance for redemption and opportunity to forget about the past. "This year will be different," Dave told a passed out drunk at Stud Bar in Soma the night before the opening pitch. "We're going all the way," Dave argued as the drunkard slid off his bar stool and onto the floor. Dave was so outraged that the inebriated slouch didn't believe him, that he vowed to play each game going forward on his knees. (pictured) Rick Roitinger also agreed to go along in the plight as long as Dave would in turn port his cell number from AT&T to Boost Mobile following the game. The field at Balboa Park wasn't groomed to perfection. There were no opening day fireworks exploding in an array of reds, blues, pinks, and greens. The Blue Angels didn't jet across sky breaking the sound barrier. Celebrity guests donning a cane didn't come to toss out the ceremonial first pitch. But when John Lanahan threw the first pitch to Blue Claw's leadoff hitter Saturday, a blissful battalion of goosebumps crept down the necks of every Wood Baseball Club faithful in attendance; well one at least. A homeless guy who passed/blacked out from the night before just happened to be awaking at the same moment in right field. Before he could realize what was happening, it was deemed he was a Wood fan. Nonetheless Wood Baseball was back.
Wood had first strike jumping out to an early 1st inninglead in what may go down as one of the worst blunders in Sfnaba history. With newcomer Matt Moyer on third, Lanahan hit a routine grounder to third (he would later try to coerce/threaten the scorekeeper for a hit... John is that you who keeps calling my house and hanging up?). Moyer took off for the plate, not because he normally can beat out a hard hit grounder, but because he stayed at a Holiday in the night before and was feeling sprier than normal. To his dismay, and no shock to the fans, players umpires, and any human within 100 yards of the field, he was easily caught in a run down. At the same time Pat Whelly had no choice but to round second and take third on the play, putting two players at third base. Instead of running Moyer back to third, tagging both players and being granted one out, the catcher felt it would be a good time to show off his throwing arm, and chucked the ball over third base and into left field, thus allowing both runners to score. (Damn that Abner Doubleday and his rules). 
Lanahan started on the mound and looked to be in mid-season form, tossing four shutout innings before giving way to the bullpen. Steve McDevitt came in and pitched a perfect 5th, and got off to a good start in the 6th inning before the wheels came off, and he was left begging for Mommy as three runs crossed the plate. A handful of fly balls made for inauspicious goings for Wood outfielders as they tried to maneuver through the outfield grass which was long enough for a tiger to hide in.
Luckily the offense picked up the slack of the pitching with Wood finding the right holes (that's what she said). Matt Moyer had three hits in his Wood debut, Patrick Whelly went 2-2 with 2 doubles, and Will Tong,Dave Aubuchon, Roitinger, and Lanahan all contributed to the hit parade, but the biggest play came when Jevon Mattassi stole home on the pitch in the 8th. On the next toss home Roitinger did the best faking performance since Jenna Jameson in "Jenna's Playhouse 4,"as he too appeared to be streaking for the plate.
Once the stressed catcher saw this display, he darted out in front of the plate with a bottle of Jergen's hand lotion and Kleenex ready for Jenna's big climax. To his chagrin, he put himself in the best possible position for a concussion at the hands of Ryan Tovani, and also was credited with the first balk in the history of baseball caused by a catcher, thus allowing Roitinger a free pass home.
All in all in was a great first game for Wood. Instead of falling asleep after an early lead, energy remained high and at the end of the day were on the good side of a W.
Some Key Stats:
# of K's by Brandon Sides in his 1 inning of work: 6
#baseballs lost inside the confines of the police station: 42
# of peyote hits, glue inhalations, and beers consumed by Wood fans: 17
# of times Alisa got bored during the game and wandered down to the bench in an "I'm not touching you," with a finger a centimeter from your arm way heckled Wood players: 9
Wood squares off against the tough Black Sox next Sunday. Great seats are still available.
Wood is Good.
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